… And What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do
Some things you go through are just downright emotionally shocking. Some are not so bad but elicit a response, just the same. Either way, you feel the negative emotions, the anger or sadness, building up inside of you. You know it doesn’t feel good, and you want to calm down, but HOW?
Sometimes your feelings about things really can be changed for the better in a minute. Other things that affect your life deeply and extensively can take lots of repeated “minutes” to actually change the pattern, or to form a new pattern, so that you learn to deal with it in a way that’s healthy for you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned
In my case, the circumstance and situation that sent me scrambling to find and develop this information was real life changing and shocking. But practicing these steps, repeatedly, minute after minute, allowed me to change the pattern of negativity I would have fallen into and instead transform the experience into a new and joyful way of life. I could have let my own ignorance ruin my life.
15 days after celebrating being married for 25 years, my spouse confessed to me as being transgender. The book and the CD in this post below both helped me to get and stay grounded and calm. (I will talk about transgender issues in a future post, also part of exposing, or Lifting The Wool, that’s been pulled over our collective eyes.) Being “mindful” like this works for all situations, whether the situations are extremely upsetting or are just causing slight anxiety. THIS is how you calm down, this is how it is done.
Step 1 – Acknowledge – your emotion and pay attention to the physical feeling you get from it. Observe and notice how you feel in the present moment, focus on your breath, and engage your other senses.
Step 2 – Transform – go “above” the form to change the physical feeling, and so you change the pattern, and therefore your result changes. Slow down the breath, on purpose, and the pattern of what you are thinking and feeling, both emotionally and physically, changes. By releasing judgement, by letting go of expectations, and reflecting before responding you are creating the unknown, and you can only create what you want in life starting from the unknown.
(Because if it is not the “unknown”, then it already IS something other than what you want.)
Step 3 – Create – you can only create from the unknown. Forgive (by going thru and acknowledging, mindfully) and make a choice to go past the hurt by feeling and then accept it and realize and accept you are powerless to change it. Accept that your expectations don’t matter – let go of them – because what is IS. And be thankful that is so because only from the emptiness (of no expectations and of forgiveness – of yourself and others) can you create the new life you want.
Acknowledge and fully feel what you don’t like and what you don’t want. Then accept that you cannot change it by anything you do, or don’t do. Forgive, both yourself and others, and feel gratitude for this knowledge now, and the ability now, to create what you DO want, from that now clean and empty space. And know, that when you are all done, you are doing this for YOU, and no one else. Breathe. Calm down. Ahhhhh.
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Lifting The Wool (that’s been pulled over your eyes),
Bonus: I just added this at the last minute – a meditation CD by Dr. Joe Dispenza to help you change the patterns in your brain. I do use it myself, to this day. It’s 48 minutes long – just right for the boost you need to start your day right in the morning, or for the short break needed to connect with yourself at the end of the workday.
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